Windows: I was perfectly honest with her. Hutch: Tell 'em how you described yourself. Windows: You guys are all just jealous because she describes herself as a cross between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Janeane Garafolo. Linus: Who's also got a man package and a goatee. She's even got connections inside the Lucas camp. She's intelligent and acerbic, and a die-hard fan. Hutch: If you diss the Fett the again, I will corn-hole you with a lightsaber! Windows: I met her in a Jedi chatroom. When it comes time for battle, the man's Michael Bay - all style, no substance.
#ALIEN NEWS DESK PORN MOVIE#
Windows: What? Hutch: What, man? Eric: What if the movie sucks? Hutch: Nobody calls Han Solo a bitch! Windows: You guys both got to stop perpetuating this myth that Boba Fett is some kind of bad-ass. Hutch: Don't roll your eyes at ME, Admiral Jackbar! Linus: We have to strip to Menudo? Thick-Necked Thug: You got a problem with Menudo? Windows: So, we're all hunky-dory? We're all copacetic? Roach: Well, if the word "copacetic" means I'm gonna rip off your tongue and lick your ass with it, then yeah, we're copacetic. Most importantly, rule number three: There's no jerking it in my van! Windows: Fine. Rule number two: Nobody touch the red button. Hutch: Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush. Title card/crawl: Ever wonder why these words are flying? Maybe aliens in another galaxy will one day read this and think WTF? Title card/crawl: sent from my iPhone. Little do they know that on Halloween night, their paths will cross again. Title card/crawl: In the remote state of Ohio, two best friends and lifelong Star Wars fans have drifted apart. In 199 days, 3 hours, 33 minutes and 29 seconds the most anticipated movie of all time will be released. However, the past fifteen years have been a dark time for Star Wars fans. They were siblings, you sick bastard! Title card/crawl: The year is 1998 and it is a period of galactic civil war. Zoe: Ew! What in god's name is living on your chest? It looks like you fell on ALF.
'Cause you smell like something shit *in* my nose. You need that one bad-ass thing that lets you live on forever, you know? Windows: Stop humping.
Hutch: Greatest deed Luke Skywalker ever did was take down the Death Star, right? As far as I'm concerned, that's what everybody needs. Zoe: That better be your lucky R2 poking me. Zoe: I’m Picasso’s Blue Period! Linus: How did you score all of this? William Shatner: Are you kidding? I'm William Shatner I can score anything. Zoe: You’re gonna spill it or fill it, dude? Eric: Zoe.
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